There Ain’t No Fury Like A Woman…Humiliated

Nobody likes to be publicly humiliated, especially not me.   Read on to find out how I was recently enraged with fury by a member of my own family…and why I’ll never forgive him.

Image Source: http://www.dreamstime.com

Although I’ve had issues with my hearing for almost 15 years, its been the last seven years or so that there has been a rapid decline which totally affects my normal day to day life. Looking around society and seeing many other people suffer with physical or mental disabilities, I feel guilty complaining about my hearing impairment, but God knows, deaf people suffer too.

Everybody is different and I can only speak for myself and generalise on the behalf of others with hearing loss, but hearing people’s ignorance can be the most insulting and hurtful of all the other crap that we (hearing impaired people) have to deal with. For me, family members and people that have known me since my better hearing days are the worst.

I don’t broadcast my impairment (except on this blog), but when its relevant I do let people know that they have to face me when they’re talking to me. Last week I was in a rather crowded environment where most people knew I was deaf and those that didn’t know, didn’t have no need to know. Having managed to get through most of the evening, struggling with conversations and dealing with the “white noise” and tinnitus, I was abruptly attacked (verbally) by a family member who loudly announced that I should wear my hearing aids, stop using my kids to talk for me and speak up for myself. There was a load of other crap spawning from his inebriated mouth, but that’s for another post.

Behind the ear aid (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was so embarrassed, that had I been white I would’ve turned beetroot red, more than that, I was angry. I see this…prat, six times a year, if that and although he is a relative, he doesn’t know me, he’s just heard about my deafness through other ignorant family members that believe that hearing aids are magic. I have sensory neural deafness and severe tinnitus, which to the you and me brother means, everything I hear sounds like a badly tuned radio station. Hearing aids only amplify the hearing that isn’t lost, so although I may hear a baby crying, the door knocking, a dog barking outside when I’ve got mine on, the white noise and muffled speech I hear is just louder basically. This is extremely annoying and makes communicating ten times as hard, therefore I vaguely use them. As for me using my kids to speak for me. Puhlease! Had I been born with this level of hearing loss, its most certain that my speech would not have developed. Having a voice is my saviour through my deafness and although I frequently “use” my daughter’s ears, I most definitely can speak for myself.

How i felt inside

Had we not been in a house of mourning, I would’ve told this relative to deal with a few of his own problems and pointed out that unlike him, my disability is not faked like the ones used to excuse him from getting his sorry ass a job, but I managed to bite my tongue. Another family member told me to ignore him as it was just the drink speaking, but I was hurt, especially as some people who overheard him took my embarrassment for their entertainment. Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t forgive easily. I also detest people, drunk or not, who go around picking faults with people when they’ve got their own bag of shit that they can’t handle.

As of that night, I have no desire to speak to that fool ever and will never acknowledge him as family again. He got away with ridiculing me last week but if he ever dares to try and get funky again, it’s gonna be an all and out war.

 

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