The summer sunshine has finally reached the UK after months of heavy rain. I love the summer as I hate the cold and I’m busy compiling a list of things I love about the season as I type. However, there’s a few things that really pee me off about the warmer season as follows in no particular order:
1) BBPOD (Bad Body Parts On Display) Now I’m no supermodel and I’m all for people of all shapes and sizes expressing themselves freely. However, just because the sun is out I do not want to see peoples crusty toes, scaly heelbacks and belly rolls on display. Now before any larger people out there try to start a virtual fight; I love big people, most of the ladies in my family are of plus sizes but they dress accordingly to their weight. Love handles busting out of a tight t-shirt or bum cracks spilling out of jeans is not a good look. Especially on the ladies. Ladies that suffer with pubis problems should also cover that up too.
However, some people are just too lazy or don’t give a damn about their hygiene inflicting their odours on others. I went into a department store changing room last week and refrained from trying on the three outfits I planned to buy as I could not hack the stench. A couple of days later me and a friend took our children for a McDonalds treat only to be put off our meals because of the stench of rancid urine and sweat from a middle aged couple a couple of tables away from us. Soap is cheap and although the UK is at risk from drought, we haven’t been limited to one shower a week. Yet!
3) Bloody Bugs: We get some nasty bugs in the UK and every summer they seem to get larger, multiply and bite harder. Having had the experience of being bitten by mosquitoes and stung by wasps, I try to avoid bugs as best possible. Ants are a pain in the arse/ass too. Millions of them crawling over the place, breeding like there’s no tomorrow and when you get a nest of flying ants in your house you’ve got a BIG problem. Click this link >> Killer Bug Threat To UK << to read my write up on the caterpillar threat to UK.
4) Gardening: Not all of us English peoplehave an English Country Garden. My garden is prone to severe outbreaks of weeds.
Although on a hot day they smell like the smoking kind, they are mainly bramble weeds with stinging nettles that will leave you in tears after slight contact. Its a lot of work keeping up the garden, especially when like me, you’re a busy single mother trying to keep numerous blogs on the go. Its also a costly job, keeping the garden tidy and preened and by the time you’ve got it looking its best, the summers over and you never got to enjoy your work. Call me sexist but gardening is for men, not little delicate ladies like me.
5) Clothes: Because the UK has more colder months than warmer months people, i.e., me can get used to throwing a coat over any old thing dragged out of the wardrobe. Now the Summer is here I have to make an extra effort, if only to go to the corner shop and believe me its a mighty effort. I am of Afro-Carribean heritage but wasn’t blessed with the curves and booty of my female counterparts so I tend to hide what I don’t have and emphasise the little I do. This can often mean four or more outfit changes before I step out of the door. Its a bloody headache and time consuming. Wouldn’t it just be better if we all dressed in bin bags? Not!
- Britons ‘are spending more on their gardens’ (ratedpeople.com)
- Advice: How To Deal With A Friend That Has Body Odour (askauntieaura.wordpress.com)
- School Girl Plans To Marry Her 50 year Old Lover